Creating Love Rituals in Your Family


“I love you, I love you. Do you know I love you? I love you, I love you. Do you know I love you?…” I sing to my three year old boy.

“No.” He giggles and his blue eyes light up.

“No?” I feign a shocked look. “Then I guess I’ll have to kiss you until you know it.” I make my eyes wide and he squeals as I grab him and plant kisses all over his face and neck until he finally stops laughing and says, “Ok, ok, I know it! I know it!”

Usually he makes me sing it again or he will sing it to me. Each time it is something different. Tickling. Nibbling his toes etc. We do it a lot and don’t know why I started it but I love it. It has become our special thing.

When I started it I had never heard of love rituals but that is what is. It is a ritual we do quite a bit. Nearly every day. Sometimes several times a day. We do it when I feel I haven’t spent enough time with him. Sometimes we do it when he is getting tired or I sense a tantrum is coming. Sometimes I look at him and am just overcome with love for him and he is growing so fast. Someday this will embarrass him.

Why Do Love Rituals?

“Your unanticipated love is like a special treat that your children didn’t expect and, in the surprise, is especially sweet.” – Jim Taylor PhD Use Rituals to Send Love to Your Children Psychology

According to “In just minutes a day, these powerful rituals:

  • Promote learning and literacy
  • Increase attention span
  • Decrease power struggles
  • Increase cooperation
  • Enhance self-esteem through
  • permanent brain chemistry changes
  • Integrate the brain”

Wow. I had no idea

Can You Give Me Examples?

Why sure I can.

  • It can be as simple quiet snuggle time before bed. You just have to do it every night for it to become a ritual.
  • You could make up a secret code or signal so only you know what it is. This especially important if you have older kids who would die of embarrassment if their friends saw. (Hand signals, bumping elbows, random code word, even a number code.)
  • My family had a weird one. My grandpa always gave me a box of cereal all wrapped up for Christmas. He is gone now but every so often someone will get a box of cereal for Christmas. We know what it means.
  • I think most of us have someone, usually a grandparent, that says, “I love you/I love you more.” My grandpa always made up new ones. “I loved you first/I’ll love

It doesn’t matter what it is as long as you both know what it is. It has to be repeated a lot for it to become a ritual.

Do you have love rituals in your family?

Please feel free to tell us what they are. Maybe I’ll even add them and your name to my list.


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